​​"Midnight Santa Pants – Furry Rebellion For Fireplace Storytellers & Ornament Smugglers"​​

Wear The Naughty List​​ These aren't sweatpants—they're tactical gear for holiday anarchists. ​​Yuletide Insurgency Specs​​ 🔹 ​​Fur-lined Mutiny​​ – Plush interior hides contraband gingerbread 🔹 ​​Cookie Heist Pockets​​ – Secret slots for stolen milk glass evidence 🔹 ​​Chimney Escape Cut​​ – Baggy knees clear soot without slowing you down 🔹 ​​Broken Candy Cane Stripes​​ – Red/white pattern confuses surveillance elves 🔹 ​​Gift Wrap Waistband​​ – Stretches to fit smuggled fruitcake payloads ​​Holiday War Stories​​ ​​Black Friday Veterans​​ – Knees bruised from toy aisle ambushes ​​Eggnog Bootleggers​​ – Pockets permanently spiced with nutmeg ​​Tree Lot Deserters​​ – Pine needles embedded in every seam ​​Fabric Carol​​ "Not fleece – but shredded letters to Santa / Not stripes – but broken candy cane shivs / Not elastic – but stretched gift receipt tape"